Written by Vekas the Wicked Tree

By the gods, no! Not another beta weekend! Anything but that!

Sure, I get it. You want to play TERA. For you, a closed beta weekend is chance to explore more of the game, maybe try a new character, perhaps see the inside of Sinestral Manor.

But for me, beta weekend means "dying horribly, thousands of times an hour." So yeah, your weekend is gonna turn out better than mine.

I'm gonna get stabbed, chopped, impaled, lit on fire, and walloped with the power of the gods. It seems like all the races of the world have come together in harmony...to kill me.

(The poporis are the worst. Their laughter--it haunts my nightmares.)

And it's so unfair! That cruel human, Nivek, has it out for me.

My crime? I like bacon! Who doesn't? Just because I'm a tree doesn't mean I can't like meat! That's tree-ism, and it's just plain wrong!

Maybe En Masse did something nice for me in the patch notes. Wait...what's this?

"...will spawn three in the area..."

"...shortened the respawn timers..."

NOOOOO! Those bipedal [filtered]s! I'm gonna get killed way, way, WAY more than ever before!

That's it. As soon as these betas are done, I'm outta here. I'm gonna find some MMO where trees are just trees and there's a lot less stabbing, chopping, impaling, igniting, and walloping.

Don't let the door hit you Vekas, and if i see you on the island of dawn again, im turning you into firewood >:)

Sounds like you should have left those poor little pigs alone! Liking bacon is one thing, but committing mass genocide for bacon is a whole other story(a bad one)!

FOR THE PIGS!

(Goes off to practice killing pigs as a test for killing large mobs)

Wait ! Don't leave just yet !



I have not tested lancer yet >;)

It's okay vekas, once launch cools down most people will be past the isle of dawn and you can eat bacon in peace. Also have you thought about getting the Bacon Lover title? Perhaps joining the bacon fan club will gain you more friends. Also stores sell bacon too so perhaps less piggy genocide?

The irony is that once we're done killing you they tell us to go kill some piglings.

Vekas reminds me of ICP... and that song about the three little piggies.

Treeism is a serious problem in society, and something that people should not joke about. I find it absolutely tasteless, offensive and disgusting that En Masse would make such a horrible social issue the butt of a juvenile joke. I am going to be contacting NAAET—The National Association for the Advancement of Ents and Treefolk—about this. I hope you have a good legal team EME, as Ent lawyers are vicious.

Wait don't go, I need more papyrus for all my safe haven scrolls....

Vekas... yet again, you've missed the point entirely.

We're not upset about the piglets. Really, we're not. If nothing else Nivek merely drew our attention to their delicious presence as well - and trust me, I've put down a hundred piglets for every life of yours I've taken. In fact, save for when you get in the way of my axe I downright ignore you.

The problem, Vekas, is that you didn't share. Dozens of little porkers running around, enough bacon to feed an army of Elin for a hundred years... and you can't be bothered to share a single meal?

Death. You deserve nothing less.